i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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