my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
