good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
