only if we run a train.
done.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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