As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
