I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize