i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
