it wasn't lemon gatorade
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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