remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
