Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It's official drugs can't kill me
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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