There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
