there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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