My brain says no but my pants say off.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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