Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
