dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
