he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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