I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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