be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
