is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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