My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
