Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You work out of a Hotel?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
