I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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