I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
