His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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