I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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