He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
