Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize