i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize