you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
So apparently I’m into choking now
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