i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Randomize
