She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
