Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
