Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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