You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
