i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I believe in your delicious
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize