just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
this will be a night to untag.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
