i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
