am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
