I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
