whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
