Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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