Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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