In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
