Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just want to make out with him forever
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
soo... how was my night?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize