U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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