I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
The best revenge is premature balding
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
