You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
