I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
it glows. i had to have it.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
