he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she told me i tasted like america
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
