Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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