this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
