Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
