ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
