Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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