If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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