Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
