its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I just googled if crying burns calories
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
