some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
