Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
