Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
