awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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