Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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