Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
