and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
