We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
